arrgh. theres absoloutely nothing to do. time just hasnt come to a standstill, its moving backwards. i hate this period of comatose existence that im going through right now. the only thing keeping me sane is music and the internet. and now the time to search for a college is here. im pretty sure im not gonna get through anywhere good this year cos i screwed up my AIEEE paper. guess its a private college for me.  and WTF, i dont even want to do engineering. half the student population in india is doing engineering and the other half is studying to become doctors. its pathetic. i wonder whats wrong with parents in india. apparently its okay to become a(n incompetent) doctor as long as you end up raking in plenty of money. they can have plenty on their conscience as long as they dont end up having little in their safe. now i just dont want to end up with a 9-5 job which i hate and have absoloutely no interest in. and in any case, arent we supposed to do what were good at..well maths and physics?...yeah right!!!

Today I live life trying to sedate,

All these pent up emotions and all this hate;

Today I try to live a life that seems like scattered reams,

With no identity and borrowed dreams.

well anway, been listenin to a lot of loud music lately, korn, slipknot, the headbangers ball compilation, ozzfest,pantera,heck, thers a LOT.....end result of it all?.....im writing stuff like this.....

So when you felt the need,

You’d suck me lifeless and do your Godless deed,

You’d slash my wrists and leave me to bleed,

You’d gorge on me and feed your greed.

But from now on no more trying to grin and bear it,

From now on I fight back I swear it,

Times up for this meek facade, now I tear it,

I’ve seen a lot of pain and I’d love to share it,

This is my soul and now I bare it.

thts all for now....leave some comments which might cheer me up...later...fahd